Disappointed and losing hope........

In some ways this post is long overdue but I don't like to put anything negative on my blog, so I've tried to avoid posting about the state of adoptions in Vietnam. I can't procrastinate any longer. Baby #2 isn't going well and that is an understatement. Vietnam and the U.S. haven't been able to resolve their issues quickly enough to continue adoptions without interruption. The current agreement that expires on 9/1/08 will result in my dossier being sent back from Vietnam and no chance of a referral until a new agreement is reached. Last time Vietnam adoptions closed to the U.S., it took 3 years to reopen. Who knows how long it will be closed this time? I've been hoping for months that my dossier would be grandfathered because it has been in Hanoi. Unless something drastically changes in the next month, it doesn't look like that will happen. It's been a long 17 months to wait for nothing and I'm still trying to come to terms with it.
It's hard to know which way to turn now. The current state of international adoption is not looking good. There aren't a lot of options, especially for single moms. But I'm doing my best to stay positive. I thank God every day for the blessing of my son. If he is the only child I'm blessed with, then so be it. But I'm going to do my best to find his sibling, if not in Vietnam, then somewhere else. There's still a huge place in my heart that cannot give up on Vietnam, so I keep praying that a miracle will happen and adoptions will continue quickly and the shutdown will be brief. There are so many families stuck just like we are and I think about them all every day. I know from experience that when you get your baby home, these struggles will fade and the joy of your child will prevail. So you PAPs reading this, please don't give up. Find a new country or try to be patient and wait for Vietnam, but never give up the dream to be a parent. Lucas is worth all the money and the emotional torture and I'm sure his sibling will be too. Hopefully this trial will become part of the story I tell my next child someday of how we came to be a family. It's possible that baby hasn't come into the world yet and this is just God's way of slowing things down so the right babies find their way into the right families. At least, I hope that's the reason.